pinkelephanti

Title: A World of Disappointment
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: PG
W/C: ~ 400
Warnings: Extreme crack approach with caution
Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me, neither does Arthur, even if he is hot :p
Summary: Arthur's goblet is poisoned

A/N: I've never intentionally written crack before, so this is my first effort. Unbeta'd so any mistakes are my own.

A World of Disappointment

Merlin came running into the Banquet Hall at a sprint. He skidded to a halt, stopping directly before Uther, Arthur and Morgana, who were sitting together at the top table.

“STOP!” he cried, throwing his arms up in the air. “Arthur’s goblet has been poisoned!” Uther’s expression turned quickly from irritation to disgust. “Again? Well I suppose you had better drink it as usual to substantiate your claim.” He handed over Arthur’s cup, now looking merely bored by the whole matter.

“NO! WAIT!” shouted Arthur as he scrambled quickly over the narrow table between them. Merlin had already raised the cup to drink the fatal mixture, when Arthur’s hands covered his and tried to jerk the vessel from his grasp. They stood glaring at each other, as they both wrestled to gain control. “I should die, Merlin. It is my duty to my kingdom to protect its people, even you” said Arthur forcefully. “No! You have a great destiny to fulfil, it is my job to keep you safe,” Merlin retorted desperately. With these words he gave an almighty tug.

They both watched stunned as the poison flew from the goblet, arcing gracefully over Merlin’s shoulder and landed with a splash on the stone floor. Silence reigned in the hall and Merlin and Arthur stared at the now damp patch on the ground. Appearing confounded, they looked back towards each other.

“B-but… that’s not how it’s supposed to go!” complained Arthur, seeming a little lost. “One of us is supposed to drink the poison in an act of great sacrifice, and the other must set off on an adventure, filled with grave danger and peril, to retrieve the only known cure in all the land. During which time we will both discover our true feelings for each other and they will be revealed in the midst of a heartfelt reunion…. possibly followed by porn!”

Everyone gazed at Arthur’s crestfallen features, jaws slack and eyes wide, apparently quite astonished by the prince’s outburst. All except for one that is; “well, we’d better skip straight to the end then,” said Merlin with a wide smile. He grabbed the front of Arthur’s shirt and pulled him close against him, until their lips met in a searing kiss. Merlin moved a hand up to cup the back of Arthur’s neck, before tilting his head away to look into his eyes. “Better?”